(Photo courtesy and owned by TyLeishia L. Douglass author of blog)
What and who do you see when you look in the mirror faced, or turned away from it’s reflection?
More than Picture Perfect, who said your imperfections are your perfections?
“Step Up and Use Your Beauty Pound for Pound to Knock Negativity Down To Skin and Bone”
By: TyLeishia L. Douglass
Greetings everyone! I am excited about doing this blog because it is necessary to raise awareness on people bullying people who have access weight or more than average weight for one reason or other. This blog does not suggest that access weight is okay to have regardless of health problems, and neither am I a doctor. I am writing and discussing this because of the so called, “Miracles on losing weight down to a Barbie Dolls size” doesn’t helps one to take a look at themselves and know that you don’t have to be a size zero to five to be beautiful or accepted by anyone, but you must accept and feel good about yourself.
Some people are born big boned and some have gained it overtime and others, it comes with age. But where are we and is it possible to drop the pounds of negativity that may have come through being teased, bullied or just neglect on your part. This for some or many may hit a soft spot, but it’s okay, let’s chit chat, step up and use your beauty, pound for pound, to knock negativity down to skin and bone. How do I mean that? For every mean word someone calls you, your beauty will knock that negative name calling or teasing right into a skeleton and there will be no bones about it!
More than Picture Perfect, who said your imperfections are your perfections?
First you don’t have to be a larger size to be bullied. People are not as accepting of smaller, average, a few extra pounds or heavier than a few extra pounds so, I am not just talking to the thick ladies and gentleman, I am talking about ALL SIZES! What does a perfect imperfection looks like? Go and stand in front of a full size mirror then ask yourself that very same question. Now it’s time to chat about the different situations that is, “imperfect” so say’s society that may be causing, or delaying the “perfect.” In these different scenarios, check out the bold words and how people can be labeled.
Chelsea was a scrawny little girl and her head was bigger than her body. She was teased most of her childhood life and she became overly conscious about her appearance. She would be called names like, “Matchstick,” “Skinny Mini,” and “The Hungry Child.” Chelsea didn’t have a medical condition, her doctor told her she was born that way and she just had a small skeletal body and her skull just was the size it was with no complications.
Q: What do you suppose Chelsea would do as a child labeled with cruel name calling?
Scott is a hefty truck sized man who worked as a cashier attendant at a local grocery store. Customers would stare at Scott and some would even get in his line because they couldn’t believe how tight the space was, where he stood ringing up the customers. He could hardly move and one person asked him right out, “How did you get this job?” Other customers would snicker, but Scott would try to get the customer out as fast as he could. Scott was born with a life term they call, “Genetics.” Perhaps his parents and most of his family are in as they call “Obesity.” Scott’s body may have been pretty large in size and he had short arms so, it was a bit challenging for him to have the average speed of a cashier ringing up items across the scanner.
Q: Obviously the company didn’t mind and didn’t discriminate so, why should anyone else have an issue? Scott was described as, “Hefty truck size man,” he was teased and customers came to spectate because he has been born as a larger size in birth as a baby and as he got older, he would continue to grow bigger in body weight size. Why is this a problem for anyone to have against someone else?
Marsha was average in adult size most of her young and middle aged life. She had received some bad news that she had to undergo surgery due to scar tissue that had latched itself onto major organs. Now Marsha understood why she was dealing with so much pain. Marsha had the perfect figure eight waist and most of her friends would call her, “perfect body to die for.” Marsha was told by the doctors what the downside would or could be after she had her adhesions removed. The up side would be that she would stop feeling pressure and discomfort and the downside, is that she would have scaring from the cut and that it is most likely she would gain weight and fluid will take time to go from her body.
Q: Marsha was seen as a, “Perfect figure eight,” and was told she had, “The body to die for.” If Marsha had not gotten that medical condition taken care of, she would have died with a body like that. Now Marsha will have to deal with the weight gain but not because she caused it. Do people really need to be holding Marsha accountable for this?
Ken was an average size guy who loved to eat, but he stayed in the gym. He had the body of a twenty one year old though he is 45, he was in great shape for the most part. He was called, “The golden olden body of steel.” Ladies loved them some Ken and always had to give him a hug because he had a chest like Hercules. But Ken loved eating a bit too much and slipped out of the gym for more than a year. This caused Ken to pick up the pounds and his Hercules like body type came into a body of extra weight that sagged into fatty tissue.
Q: Ken was called, “The golden olden body of steel,” and ladies loved his “Hercules like chest.” Ken got happy with eating more and exercising less which caused sagging and access weight. How can there be positive assistance or encouragement for Ken if were not careful on helping and not attacking, making him feel even more like he should not care anymore about a healthier solution to get him back on track.
Bottom line as to why I used these 4 scenarios is to remember to be mindful, you never know a person’s reason for their size, or how they look. Be respectable one to another and understand that each and every one of us have a heart that pumps real blood, and that heart helps us to live and it also feels. Unpleasant words, teasing, or staring at someone to be mean, is another way of bullying and that can destroy a person.
Everyone is not so strong all the time, so don’t assume they are, however there are those that are strong enough to keep the negativity from getting to them. I can’t say this enough, bullying comes in so many different ways. It is like a cancer to some, it can eat at them until they are unable to continue on fighting against negativity. We can tell someone, “Oh you just have to ignore people and let it roll off your back.” That’s fine to tell someone to be strong, and block out the negativity but, not everyone can grasp that and run with it. It takes some people time because they may have been bullied like Chelsea in Scenario #1 who was just born that way. She need to become a lot stronger, and be able to begin to love herself as she is. Words do hurt!
The other thing is, if you see someone like Ken in Scenario #4 who slowly let himself gain more than a few pounds than he had, it could be a medical condition, so you just don’t know. If he’s medically okay, and he just decided to stop going to the gym, you can take the initiative and ask if he’d like to go to a park, and walk with you, or you can offer him to go and work out with you. You have to be careful when you see these kinds of situations, because it could be depression, loss of a loved one and it created major depression, or it may be even that a person may be experiencing a medical condition, or just simply need to change up there routine or atmosphere. whatever it may be, be a part of the solution and not the problem. Be kind and compassionate. Sometimes that’s all it takes to help someone push themselves into a healthier mindset and whole being.
Calling anyone names like fat, blubber, skinny, toothpick, rolly polly, and those are just to name a few, can really cause someone who may not be as strong as others to go into seclusion and are left to deal with the ugly side of societies accept-ion.
Under neath our skin, we all look alike. We all have skeletal bones, it’s just that some are bigger and some are smaller. I will be doing another blog on those that have embraced and not afraid to face bullies. I myself have gone through extensive bullying and the photos you see in this blog of me have been taken almost 15 years ago in the mirror on purpose. Reflections are memories, some are good ones and others aren’t. For me, these photos were both good but came with a lot of judgement about myself and through the years how change can come from life’s ventures to just aging into another year I had never seen before. I learned to love the skin I am in and be okay with it as long as I am healthy in my mind, body and soul. #BNPRFCTPEACE
I hope this blog has been helpful and raise some awareness of bullying be it, teasing, taking advantage of a person’s kindness, physical or mental harm. I am all in when it comes to campaigning to STOP BULLYING and this is one way I do it.
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